Month: December 2018

Breathing with Anxiety

Breathing with Anxiety

As does the thought of anxiety or even simply breathing. The two are intertwined in an enigmatic dance battle. Am I the only person who has anxiety and asthma? Doubtful. Has anyone had an asthma attack triggered by anxiety? I have.   I recently told […]

Just One Little Bite

Just One Little Bite

 “Just one little bite.” This phrase is often forcefully injected into conversation when I politely decline trying someone’s carefully crafted kitchen creation. I promise it’s not your food, it’s my gut, but you don’t seem to be buying that as a legitimate reason to decline […]

Autoimmune Changes Everything

Autoimmune Changes Everything

When I first found out I'm dealing with an autoimmune response to living.



Seriously unreal

This can’t possibly be really



Your Interstitial Cystitis is likely Autoimmune.

…..Nobody’s used that word before. How’s that?

Gut, inflammation, gluten “intolerance” turned into a death sentence.


Grandpa asked me if I started living in a homeless camp after learning

The astounding imbalanced state of my gut

“Under the Greeley bridge,”

I replied with

“The call center was a cesspool.”


I ache.

A giant has fish hooked my side

He slowly drags me,

Then kicks the crumpled pop can of my breathing corpse

Back across a field

For another chance



Me in


This thing in me,

It’s not a hook but a disease.

I know you cannot see the contaminated,

Unclean filth that makes up my inflamed, angry  insides.

But I feel it.


My healers say it may be time for more testing.

“Gluten free isn’t really gluten free when you’re Celiacs”

And it is still killing you slowly, painfully, with

red, hot, inflammation.

Everything is entirely enlarged.








Stop you


I’m further from who I am than I ever thought I’d be.