I have been struggling with body image issues since I was a little girl. I always remember my mom saying things like, “I am not skinny enough” and “This dress makes me look fat.” I grew up trying to make myself skinny enough and not […]
To be your healthiest self, you have to live your cleanest life.
You could ask almost any dietitians, nutritionists, naturopaths, urologists, doctors, and other holistic healers what their number one recommendation would be for combating any auto-immune disease and most would recommend a clean lifestyle to optimize health. By that I mean eating fruits, veggies and meats with no pesticides and minimally processing; but also moving your body regularly, all while having a healthy practice with your mental state.
I’m of the belief that food is the first medicine. In my efforts to heal myself from incurable disease, I’ve had to ask myself over and over what does living clean mean?
We are in a much larger world than we realize. The products we support with our purchases tell a story about what matters most to us. Not only in how it affects our body through nourishment, but the journey whatever product we’re buying made to get to our homes, hands and mouths. Did it take down an entire forest on it’s way to me? Is that box it’s shipped in for my convenience a detriment to another part of the planet?
The butterfly effect and how big we’ve made the world isn’t something we think about when clicking yes to our instant purchases. How can we live clean but leave a sludge trail of devastation in our pursuit? I don’t have the answer, it’s why I’m asking the question.
Living clean is also referring to what you ingest into your mind. How do you entertain yourself? How do you communicate with yourself? What’s in the specifics of the language you use with other people?
Diving down a screen shaped rabbit hole is overwhelming. Does anybody really have time to watch all the shows, movies, online videos, or content available? Am I the only one who feels the effects of gore on TV later in their sleeping or waking life? Does anybody else obsess about a fictional story or character?
How you fill your space, your mind, and your mouth directly impacts how you feel and operate in your daily life.
Lifestyle changes are exhausting. Culture can heavily promote convenience over quality. I often have clients, being a bodyworker, who admit they eat fast food and know it doesn’t taste the best or nourish them well, in fact it makes them feel crummy, but that doesn’t stop them from buying into it because IT IS CONVENIENT. It’s the same for our viewing content and how we shop, and how we interact with our relationships.
Illness, disease, lethargy, being uncomfortable in your own skin - none of that is convenient and it’s directly correlated to how we nourish ourselves.
I’m not going to lie and say living clean is convenient. I started from a place of complete dysfunction. I’ve disrupted my entire life in pursuit of living clean only to find myself exhausted at the thought of where paper comes from, or the life cycle of the food I’m consuming. How much water is sacrificed to make a pretty pear that's aesthetically pleasing? How often does anyone else bypass the one bruise on a fruit for a prettier option? Or turn up their nose at the slight wilt in a vegetable?
I think we first need to slow down.
There’s no way we can accomplish it all on our own. Expectations of us made by us are insane. I took it in stages, and continue to optimize with each new bit of information I discover.
I started with food, and continue to make that my primary focus and ask myself: Is it organic? Is it local? What cause am I supporting with my purchase? How does it make me feel physically and mentally to consume?
I then work towards not being a hoarder but instead surrounding myself with what I actually use, need, and desire for my comfort and happiness - but this includes people. Sometimes the destructive type situations, thoughts, and relationships in life - need to be left behind.
My final focus is on content. I enjoy truth, but also a thriller, both fiction and non-fiction, as well as fantasy. It’s work to not let myself numb with it or use it to escape my reality and hide from my life. I have to limit what I can take in and put more of my daily effort into myself, my care and what I need to heal and grow.
Basically, don’t get caught up in someone else's rat race. You’re path is perfect for you, just as mine is for me, even if it doesn’t look like anyone else’s. Listen to your heart, your mind, and your gut in your daily decision making and consumption.
Right now, in this moment, I’m alive.
I know that much to be true. The problem is, I’m afraid and stuck. Stagnant in my fear of what does this mean as I analyze each human body experience I am having and question what’s “normal” and what’s “healthy” and what’s “best for my unique body.”
The “what if” question always nags at me, and the fear of death and dying are always looming. Anxiety takes me to the place of a stubbed toe, resulting in a skin eating virus or bacteria that ultimately kills me. (That hasn’t happened, but the fear of it is real, all the while the toe throbs). I know each of us inevitably meets an end in this short span of human existence, but I’m afraid to face my own mortality. Isn’t everyone?
If I force myself to face what ails me - own all of my experiences and seek solutions to them, I’m left asking what if it really is permanent? What if I’m wrong and all my journey is for nothing, because I really am just broken and doomed to live life at the cost of quality? What if my life is left with mitigation of symptoms instead of a future I desire? What if we really only struggle and then die?
I’m in a dark place. Experiencing suffering, the likes of which make me hateful. Existing is already exhausting and adding layers to the misery with labels or potentials is frightening.
I want answers. I want to believe there’s more to life than surviving; I repeat this desire to myself over and over again, but still don’t believe my own lie.
I feel like I should be able to thrive. I want to feel happy without the always present awareness of some symptom, issue, problem with my own body. I don’t care what other people SEE, what I feel is miserable more often than not.
How can some people not have as much pain, discomfort, complaints? Is it the genetic mutations? The code within my DNA? Or are we ignorant to how we should feel? Are we all buying into the “normal” setting as something achievable? Maintainable?
Is it truly my inability to manage stress?
Money = STRESS
Health = STRESS
Existing = STRESS
“Normal” doesn’t mean healthy just because it’s often experienced by a wide variety of people.
Then there’s money and finances; How can any one person pursue their healing - especially on a natural path while maintaining a full time job, high cost of living, and a consumerist culture? I’m struggling with it every fucking day. So what’s next?
How can I be over this life and fear living it at the same time?
How can I be so trapped in my own head by both symptoms and thoughts?
I’ve lost touch with reality and closed doors on friends because I don’t know how to communicate with anyone. You ask me how I’m doing and I lie. I’m not okay most days.
All I see is gray. Wishing this fleeting moment would end, because I feel stuck in a loop.
Though my intentions are not to stay stuck in my own cycle; some days are harder than others to drag myself out of bed and move through the motions. I do it anyway; though I have fears I face them daily on my journey towards naturally healing and I only ever want the same for anybody else.
The notion started after I’d read the ever popular Secret by Rhonda Byrne several years back. I’d been struggling to integrate the concepts but failed to recognize some secret brain switch that flipped on the concept of your thoughts really manifesting your future. There was […]
If we listen to this old adage, it raises the question, So what are you? Tacos? Cheeseburgers? Veggies? Donuts? Self hate? Attempting perfectionism?
On a cellular level you really are how you’re nourished. If you’re feeding your cells sugar, GMO, pesticides...you’re toxic, sluggish, and weighed down.
You are what you ingest, this includes visual and mental nourishment too.Whatever is making its way into your conscious thought, is only a portion of what you’re ingesting. Your subconscious is absorbing everything: your environment, the background music and images.
These shape how you view yourself and your self-worth. If you’re feeding yourself gansta rap and hip hop constantly - will bitches ever be anything other than bitches?*
If you’re obsessed with Vogue and other fashion magazines, how can you see your own shape as healthy and whole, just as it is?
Face deep in sugar is basically asking your system to rebel against you slowly, and with extreme agony.
Do you feed yourself a playback real of your past? You know those times or that one person that’s no longer in your life. Regrets? Ever feed yourself your own story of regret?
Take a good look at your own life and see where your sadness comes from. I know I’m looking at mine with the intent being to enrich the parts of my life that maybe I’m feeding myself too much negativity. Is it music? Movies? Magazines? A story you tell yourself? How can you incorporate some happiness in more?
I’m tracking my food going into this year to better understand what my body needs to function optimally.
Furthermore, I’m tracking my mental/emotional state so I can piece together what nonsense I’m feeding myself in order to ensure it’s all organic and stimulating my cells and soul in just the right way.
What you put into your body, mind, and spirit matters deeply. As it’s directly reflected in your body.
Take care of yourselves apples,